Andy Reid...What THE HELL!?

Excuse me if I sound crazy...but is no one else stunned by the recent allegations against Andy Reid? 6 months ago I thought he was your typical fat guy with a mustasche. He probably ate sausage, drank beer, beat his wife and kids, and helped his arthritic brother Harry out when he moved last month. God bless his heart.

Or wait...maybe not. Apparently, Andy Reid is not your typical fat guy with a mustasche. Sadly, Andy is much more than that. He has two kids who never got the beating I always fantasized he would deal them, he has drugs stashed everywhere in his house, and worst of all, hes a MORMON. What the hell is a Mormon anyways. Apparently, if I was to ask Andy, he would say someone who likes his drugs hard, his women harder, and his team crappy. Maybe I will vote for Romney....

Pass the Rock Martina

Martina Hingis DID NOT do cocaine. Get out of my face. I already told you shes innocent. God knows those tests are always wrong. Its not like this girls in her 20s, wealthy, famous, and surrounded by drug abusers every day....oh wait...it is like that? Well go to hell, she didnt do cocaine. If she was a coke addict she would do something erratic like retire out of the blue and stop talking to the media...oh wait...she did...

Damn, Martina Hingis MIGHT have done coke.

Colored Locker Rooms Spurs Success for Patriots

The recent wave of unbelievable play by the New England Patriots is about more than just talent and good coaching, says a team insider (Bill Belichecks ex-wife). According to "Team Insider", the Patriots are winning games because of a recent idea Belicheck has implemented involving the team locker rooms. Apparently, after witnessing one to many white players being robbed by the wide recievers and cornerbacks (ie black players) on the team after games, Belicheck segregated the squad into coloreds and whites. With two adjacent locker rooms, the only thing Tom Brady and Mike Vrabel have to worry about these days is the occasional freestyle rap overheard from across the locker room.

The new, innovative measure has gone past the locker room in recent weeks. Take a close look at the New England bench at any time, and what do you know, the white guys sit together on one side, the black guys on another...the farther side from the ball at that!

This contereversial idea is turning heads around the league, but in general, the results have been succesful. Dont believe me? Just ask little Wes Welker, the victim of 14 robberies last year as a member of the Miami Dolphins. This year, the only colored robbing Wes roam the streets at night, and for Wes, thats quite alright!