If I were a gambling man (and wait, im not Bill Simmons, I AM a gambling man) I would be seriously considering looking into the upcoming season for Jimmy Clausen. The butterfaced wigger from "MediocreQuarterbacksVille, USA" comes from a pretty subpar pedigree (his brother started for the great Tennesee team yet couldnt even get drafted or make it to the NFL...and thats about it for the pedigree actually), carries more hair gel on his head than Mel Kiper does mousse, and seems to think he is something special. The upcoming freshman recently held a press conference where he publicly announced he would go to Notre Dame, all the while flashing his state championship rings as if they were going to impress me. Didnt Work Jimmy. So, as a result of these observations, I am going to place any money I have (which is actually very very very little...like less than Jimmy Clausen is going to have 6 years from now) on Clausen both a.)sucking ass and b.)suffering a career ending injury at the hands of a guy named Lamar who grew up in Harlem and held his "press conference" at a local roller rink.
I'm a half polish, chain smoking, semi alcoholic 18 year old and I am pretty certain I could beat the crap out of Clausen, so whats stopping Lamar? Ill tell you whats stopping him, NOTHING.
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