Want to win in sports? Steroids sure dont hurt and shaving points has its advantages, but here at Hot Stove, we are fairly certain we found the most legitimate and accurate method for translating last second failures into heart fluttering success. No, we havent reinvented the Whizzinator...were talking about BEARDS. You want to win in pro sports, you need to let that peach fuzz grow, embrace the unkempt look, and work it well.
Not buying it? Lets see who lets the beard grow out in sports these days: Ben Roethlisberger (Hides his F'ed up grill AND wins him championships), every playoff hockey competitor (its a rite of passage...unless your name is Sidney Crosby, if your Sidney I guess you can bypass this), Evander Holyfield (well at least hes still fighting...), Tim Duncan, Rip Hamilton, Hulk Hogan, Tiger Woods (hes got stubble, HES GOT STUBBLE), Roger Clemens...the list goes on and on, it stretches back to the days of Abe Lincoln and his cock fighting adventures. Legend has it a young girl told Abe to grow out that beard, but in all truth, it was clearly done for athletic advantages. Slimy Pete McKenzie, a real cockfighting ace in his day, told a young Abe that the only way hed get his cocks to fight to the death was to sport the beard he is now famous for. It later turned out McKenzie was suffering from Shingles and 100% wrong, but the beard lived on. Hell, even women have taken to this superstition. Billie Jean King, the womens basketball team from Tennesee, and the US Ladies soccer squad have all taken to letting the stubble come out. Whatever it takes, right.
Now if you still need more evidence, just think of all the men who never won a championship. Dan Marino, Jim Kelly, Charles Barkley, Barbaro (well he won, but in the long run he lost), A-Rod, Sidney Crosby, Kevin Garnett(ok hes got something going on their, but it looks more in the lines of pubic hair than facial hair), Don Nelson....ok you got the point by now.
Bottom line, throw out the razor and unleash the unkempt, the rings will come soon after.
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